Today is August 1st, which means that I will be moving into college in 12 days for the last time. When I was a freshman I didn’t think this time would come fast enough, but now I am not ready for it. I have developed a wonderful support system, made numerous late night QT runs, cried over stupid boys and assignments (mostly assignments…God bless Jewell), but most importantly I have made memories and I am comfortable here. The thought of graduating and being thrown into a new environment is terrifying. I know I will find my way, but there is a small part of me that wonders what will really happen after I graduate.
College has allowed me to have grow tremendously as a person and I am now comfortable with who I am. I have this sense of adventure that keeps nagging me whenever I look at jobs and apartments in the Kansas City area. I do love where I currently live, but it will always be here. I would be perfectly content with getting a job right after college and settling down with the hopes of finding someone to share that adventure with, but I don’t know if I just want to be content. I have no commitments to anyone right now, and relatively few responsibilities so now is the ideal time to get lost in the streets of Paris, play soccer with the kids of Tonga, eat foods I can’t pronounce, and meet people who see the world in a different way and learn from them. Some might say that is what college was for, but for me college was a time to learn and find myself so I could be non-judgmental and have something to come back to when I get home.
Right now I don’t know a lot, but I do know somethings…I want to see God’s creations whether that be the views from atop a mountain or having a conversation with someone in a far away country. I also know that everything works out with God and my family behind me.
Adulting: the act of having to behave like an adult and do adult like things.
This is something that is going to be a very real thing for me in a just a little over the year, but even though I have not graduated college yet I am definitely talking strides to being a fully emerged in the adult world of work, bills, and free-time.
This summer I am keeping myself rather busy with school, an internship and work. My internship involves me being a digital media marketing intern so I will be learning quite a few things. The company I am working for is located down in the heart of KC in the eclectic district called Crossroads. I live about 20 minutes (when you are not traveling during rush hour) from the business and as I am driving to the internship, into the city I feel a little bit of a rush wash over me. I love seeing the tall buildings off in the distance growing closer and I like driving through the city with buildings stretching up high above me. I think one of the reasons I like the city so much is there are always things going on and so many places to go work get work done or to go out and have a good time. I like having options and trying new things so that is just one of the reasons I like the city. Anyways, back to adulating. My first day at my internship was just a couple days ago and I am interested to see how a company (specifically a start-up) company works. In the morning we have a short meeting (called stand-up because we literally all stand around a table to keep it short.) that goes over what is going on in the company and people discuss what they are going to work on for the day. After that people seem to settle into their respective places and develop their flow for the day. Lunch comes and people converse, but then everyone settles back in until the end of the day. I thought I would get really bored quickly, but the time did not drag and I managed to get several of my tasks done or at least a nice head start on them. When it came time to leave I joined a chunk of the city on the commute home. I felt a sense of accomplishment and excitement again because I felt like an adult and I could see myself doing something similar each day.
So moral of the story, I really enjoy working for a business because I like having my own space, a team to work with, a task list, and I like being able to go to out to lunch at different places and dressing up for the work place (oddly enough). I also know that I want to work for a larger company that has room for advancement and involves products or people that I can stand behind and traveling around wouldn’t be such a bad gig. With having little to know experience I know I am going to have to really work to get someone to invest in me so I can invest in their company.
So tomorrow is the first day I am actually working on a floor in the hospital as a clinical associate, and I am terrified. I have been in bed for almost an hour now because I am working my very first twelve hour shift tomorrow and I need my sleep, but I will still probably get my vent iced coffee with skim milk and two pumps of sugar free vanilla (because mind over matter). Twelve hours seems very daunting, but I know I will make it through, I think I am just more afraid of doing something wrong whether that be documentation, taking a blood pressure, or making a patient upset. I know the last one is inevitable at some point because no matter what you do, you cannot please everyone. My mom keeps telling me that I need to relax and that it is my first day so they know you are nervous and may make a mistake. She and anyone else who has told me the same thing are right because they are not going to just turn me loose, that is why they are called orientation shifts. So I will say my prayers that all goes well tomorrow and get some sleep.
Here’s to setting two alarms way before the sun is up and becoming an adult!
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and that you were able to spend it with those who matter most. I certainly was fortunate enough to have a relaxing day at home. One of my gifts was a gift card to the grocery store and I was super excited, and then I realized I had officially entered adulthood.
Anyways now that Christmas is over, I get only a second to breath because at 5:15 am tomorrow I am catching a plane from Kansas City, MO to Fort Lauderdale, FL. From there, I will depart on a 12 day canoeing trip through the Everglades….and no I am not really an outdoorsy gal. I like my amenities and social media. I am also not going to be able to shower or shave for this time…so it’s going to be pretty gross. This trip is definitely going to be an adventure and a life changing experience because I am going to have to learn to work through difficult tasks with a team who may not always agree and I am going to be forced to confront my own weakness and concerns. While this trip will not be easy, there will be good times and it will certainly build last relationships.
Some of you may be wondering how I even got involved with such a thing. Well, the actual canoeing trip is called Outward Bound which is based out of North Carolina, but I am part of the Pryor Program at my college. The program has a very competitive interview process, followed by a series of courses focused on developing leadership skills, and then the Outward Bound trip. I am typically one who does well in school, but when it comes to groups I am not one to be a voice so after some personal discovery and nomination by teachers I applied to the program. I was lucky enough to be chosen. I have already made leaps and bounds of progress through just the class, and I am sure that I will make even more progress on this trip.
I think some of my biggest fears for this trip are my luggage not getting to Fort Lauderdale and not having a crew that meshes well. We will not get our crews until we arrive in Ft. Lauderdale so there is still plenty of time for me to stress, but once I do find out it is just time to make the best of the situation and help everyone have the best experience they can possibly have.
So starting tomorrow I will be forced to change my typical life style and become vulnerable to work with others in my group. I will be taking lots of pictures and journaling all of my experiences so don’t worry I will have a full report of the experience when I get back January 8th.
Wish me luck and have a Happy New Year,