Refocusing. New Opportunities.

Hey There,

We are several days into the new year, but I am will writing 2016 on papers, and I probably will be until March because habit. This year I am not only focusing on a few small things that I know I can focus on, but I also asked my boyfriend for a few things that we as a couple could work on. I hope to write about the progress of them through out the year as a way to further hold myself accountable.

RESOLUTIONS FOR MYSELF:

  • Live a smaller environmental impact lifestyle.
    • What I mean by this is, I want to recycle more and I also want to eat more natural foods, which leads into my next goal for this year.
  • Live a healthier life style.
    • I want to consume more whole foods (similar to a paleo diet), and less food in general. My freshman year, I was definitely a “fittie” but as I got busier my meal prep got less and less, which has lead me to eating out more because it is easier. So this year, I want to go back to preparing more meals on the weekend so I have them during the week. In addition to eating healthy, I would like to get back in shape. I hope to work out 3 times a week starting and go from there. I used to work out at least once a day, but that was too consuming for my life and I missed out on enjoying the beginning of college. With it being my last semester, I certainly want to enjoy it as much as possible.
  • Do one thing a day that will help my future
    • This can be save money by not buying coffee that day, updating my LinkedIn, applying for a job, anything that can be beneficial.
  • Be frugal
    • I want to really focus on saving more money, and not relying on my parents as much this semester, as I will be taking on “the real world” come May. My parents are wonderful people, and have helped me out a lot. I know I can come to them when I really need them, and I will still be able to do that after college, but I don’t want to rely on that.

RESOLUTIONS FOR MY BOYFRIEND AND I

  • Pray every night
    • We often spend our evenings together as we both have hectic days between class, homework, and practice {him}. As a way to decompress, and to grow closer to God we want to pray before we end the night.
  • Go to church together
    • We currently are different denominations of Christianity, so we have not settled on a church that we both feel at home. So our mission the first few weeks back to school is to settle on a church to attend regularly.

We as a couple don’t really consider these resolutions, but we want to continue to support each other when it comes to our dreams and aspirations, as well as, on a daily basis. We want to be aware of each other’s feelings and comfort one another when we have a rough day. This semester is going to be really busy for both of us, but we are excited to tackle our last semester of college together.

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Team Then Boyfriend

Yes, I am dating someone who slid into my DMs, but I am also dating a college athlete. I am dating a senior college athlete. I am dating a man that has the most respect on the team, the one who is always encouraging the guys, and has been around the longest. This man has dedicated his college years to this sport and the team. He has spent many hours outside of practice and weights meticulously taking care of the field and continuing to improve himself. He is not the only one who lives this life of morning weights, followed by class all day, afternoon practice, and then homework…there are 40 other men who lead the same life. When you spend mornings together, classes together, breaks together, and endure practices together, you will without a doubt be extremely close with each other. These guys have quite a remarkable bond. 

Before I started dating Matthew, I was always intimidated by the “baseball corner” in our school’s PLC. It is a just a corner with some couches and chairs that is home to the baseball guys in between classes. However, they are rather loud, and their bond is always what intimidated me. So when I started talking to him, I still wouldn’t go to the corner because I was still so nervous, so he would venture over to me. Even after we started dating I was really scared. One day Matthew “made” me sit with him on couch one day. I was terrified, but I slowly relaxed and got to experience this bond amongst these guys from a different perspective. They worked on homework together, talked about weights, asked about plans, and SO.MANY. INSIDE JOKES.  These guys are interesting individuals because well…they are college guys. I am sure they can be mature when they need to be, but a majority of the time it is playing poker and jokes. 

One thing that definitely surprised me was, the guys talked to me…not immediately…and not in depth conversations, but they made and effort. They learned my name. Now a little over a month since we started dating I have no problem with venturing into corner without Matthew and I greet the guys on my way to and from class. Something that I once found very intimidating is now a source of happiness and comfort. I like being able to watch these guys interact and I laugh when they tell their inside joke, not because I understand them, but because I am laughing at their interactions and comfort level with one another. I also care about these guys because they love and support each other and they take care of the guy I deeply care about. 

When I became Matthew’s girlfriend I wanted him to know that I do not expect him to put me before the team. He has been a part of this program for 5 years, and he has made a tremendous impact on the program and the program on him. It would not be right of me to be selfish or reasonable for me to ask him to put me before the team. I want him to enjoy his last year as a Cardinal because again, he is part of something special. I am honored to be the girlfriend of a senior college baseball player. I am honored to be able to watch these guys interact and work towards the conference championship every day. I am honored to give guys rides home. I am honored to play them in Mario kart and almost beat them. Lastly, I am excited to be in the stands this spring and watch these guys show how hard they have worked in the off season and how much they want to win. 

I am dating someone who slid into my DMs

Hey There,

Happy day after Thanksgiving! I am sure everyone is now officially in full holiday mode and maybe a little tired if they were out braving the crazy crowds. I have gone Black Friday shopping several times, but the past two years I have chosen to do my shopping online from the comfort of my home.  However, I hope everyone got the deals they were hoping for.

Anyways, I thought I would delve a little more into my personal life and talk about my current relationship and how it has taken me  by surprise and the reason I have been MIA.

On March 13th, 4 days before my 21st birthday I got a DM from someone who attends the same college as I do, but we had never really talked. This person was pretty well known at my school, and I had liked a lot of his tweets, but a lot of people did so it was not anything weird. When he DM’d me I immediately screenshotted it and sent to my friends, like any reasonable person because I didn’t know what to do and I honestly thought it was a mistake. I was told to respond and so I did…with “Hey” in response to his “Hey”. (I sort of expected something a little funnier and more creative coming from this person, but clearly his simplicity worked).

He asked what I was doing and so I gave him the honest answer, “Staring at the wall and thinking about making a grilled cheese.” I sort of thought maybe he wouldn’t reply, but he did. So we ended up messaging back and forth for the next couple days faithfully, and then we decided to exchange numbers. From then on, we would text everyday, all day saying both good night and good morning. We learned a lot about each other, of course only from the aspect of friends.

School was coming to an end, but there was still a few weeks left, and me being my awkward self I just avoided him. I was also scared for a while for a couple reasons that don’t need to be mentioned. We continued to text and summer came. He stayed in the area for summer baseball and to work, but we never really hung out except for one time. (Through out the summer I would go to the same building he was living on campus to visit other friends and they would give me a hard time because they thought we had a thing. I honestly just thought he was a really good friend and I didn’t want him to get freaked out if he heard my friends, so I always told them to shut up…even though I did have a slight amount of feelings for him). Fall came and school started again. We finally hung out and it was a little bit awkward because the person I had been talking to for so long, and knew a lot about was in front of me.

During this time, it was a bit weird and there were some mixed emotions, but after some serious conversations and prayers said, we decided to hang out more and see how things went. After about a week or so I got inpatient and asked him what his intentions were. (Patience has never been my strong suit) He said he sort of thought we were already dating. I told him that it did feel like that, but I would like to be official at some point as I have struggled with “basically dating” someone for two years prior. In that moment he asked if I would like to be his girlfriend. Of course me being me I thought about saying no, but I resisted and said yes.

We went a day or two before telling anyone and then we talked about going Facebook official together. In my 21 years of existence, this was my first time being Facebook official. Granted I know being Facebook official is not the biggest deal, but to me it means that we are serious because I don’t want to do that and then 5 seconds later not being dating and have to have those awkard conversations. I knew that this relationship was and is very different than anything I have every had before. This man is the most caring guy I know, who is very serious about our relationship, who cares about my well being, and is a man of God. It doesn’t matter what he is doing, he amazes me. Even if I tell him not to worry about me or to do anything for me, he does it anyways. For instance, I forgot about an assignment the other week and I was going to have to miss lunch to get it done, so he offered to bring me something and i told him not to worry about it. Well, I looked up and a baseball player was handing me a box and said it was from Matt. He had put together something that he though I would like. While this is such a simple little gesture, I was really grateful and I couldn’t believe it…and  he does things like this all of the time.

Some people have made the comment that this is something that has happened really quickly, but the fact of the matter is it is something that had developed over 7ish months. Some other people may say that I talk about him too much or that we are moving really quickly, but that is all relative. This is a guy that I really do care about and I know for a fact that God has put us in each other’s lives for a reason. I am excited to spend the up coming holiday’s and New Year with him, get to know and grow closer with his family, conquer our last semester together, go to his baseball games, and to see where we end up going!

I could have gone on for so much longer about everything that we have talked about, and the memories that we have already shared, but some of those things I think are meant to be kept between the two of us because that is what makes it special. Also, I don’t think that they are something that can be fully expressed via the internet.

Anyways, that is all for now and I will hopefully be posting some thing else rather soon.

Aud

Update

Hey There,

Wow…it has been a really long time since I have last made a post, and I could say I was just really busy, but that is a terrible excuse. To be honest, I have been busy and in my free time I chose either sleep or hanging out with people who mean the world to me.

Since August, life has been kind of busy, weird, and scary. The reality of graduation has really set in after taking my senior nursing pictures for our composite and sending my requests to do my capstone. I am excited for graduation because I want to have more freedom in my schedule, finally start the next chapter of my life, and travel some more. Before I can do that though, I have to survive the rest of this semester and next, but with the support of my family, friends and boyfriend it should be bearable.

Anyways, in case you are living under a rock,  today is Thanksgiving! I am blessed to be able to spend today off with my family just goofing around, watching football, and eating good food. I know it is important to be thankful every day, but it is nice to just have a day dedicated to spending time with family and for our society to take a bit of a breath from everyday life!

To conclude, I hope to be blogging a bit more now that I am back in the grove and will have quite a bit to share with everyone!

Let the holiday season begin!

Audrey Jane

Seeking Adventure

Today is August 1st, which means that I will be moving into college in 12 days for the last time. When I was a freshman I didn’t think this time would come fast enough, but now I am not ready for it. I have developed a wonderful support system, made numerous late night QT runs, cried over stupid boys and assignments (mostly assignments…God bless Jewell), but most importantly I have made memories and I am comfortable here. The thought of graduating and being thrown into a new environment is terrifying. I know I will find my way, but there is a small part of me that wonders what will really happen after I graduate.

College has allowed me to have grow tremendously as a person and I am now comfortable with who I am. I have this sense of adventure that keeps nagging me whenever I look at jobs and apartments in the Kansas City area. I do love where I currently live, but it will always be here. I would be perfectly content with getting a job right after college and settling down with the hopes of finding someone to share that adventure with, but I don’t know if I just want to be content.  I have no commitments to anyone right now, and relatively few responsibilities so now is the ideal time to get lost in the streets of Paris, play soccer with the kids of Tonga, eat foods I can’t pronounce, and meet people who see the world in a different way and learn from them.  Some might say that is what college was for, but for me college was a time to learn and find myself so I could be non-judgmental and have something to come back to when I get home.

Right now I don’t know a lot, but I do know somethings…I want to see God’s creations whether that be the views from atop a mountain or having a conversation with someone in a far away country. I also know that everything works out with God and my family behind me.

5 Things You Swore You Would Do This Summer

  1. Work Out
  2. Sleep
  3. Go On An Adventure
  4. Work and Save Money
  5.  Get Tan

….yet, you don’t actually do those things. Everyone swears they will work out now that they don’t have class and have less temptations to order pizza every night since mom is cooking. Sleep…something we college student put on a pedestal, sometimes higher than our grades (sorry mom), yet it’s summer and we end up watching endless amounts of Netflix or going out with people. Which brings me to my fourth point…working and saving…something we swear we will do so we can relax and focus on school {ordering pizza whenever} during the year. While we may work, we certainly aren’t saving because we definitely {don’t} need another romper. And now going back to point number three…going on an adventure. I know this is something that I always swear I will do because I have the time and I will have the money, but I end up working and not having money because I bought that extra romper or ordered pizza again. Yes, I know I made that choice and I only have minor regrets. Anyways, my fifth and final expectation of the summer, get tan. However, you spend most of your day indoors because when it’s so hot out you can fry an egg, you don’t want to fry out there either…or you work…or you are binge watching a Netflix series in the dark.

While we swear we will do a lot of things some times we don’t, but regardless we have three month off of school!

Enjoy It,

Aud

Directions and Decisions

College, the time where we are supposed to figure out what we want to do for the rest of our lives, figure out who we are and possibly who we are going to marry…oh and we should be having the time of our lives. No pressure, right?

As we are going through college doing all of these things we can’t help but to be pulled in all directions{and to our wits end} and to have some challenges in live, and possibly struggle with our relationship with God.

For me personally college has allowed me to meet some wonderful people who are helping me navigate through this crazy thing we call life. This has helped me focus on finding myself {as cliche as that sounds} and helped me decided what I want in life. In college I have learned to say yes to knew things and new opportunities because you don’t know where they will lead. The only problem with this is I start saying yes to everything and before I know it I am supposed to be in two places at once. I think it is important to be involved, and to say yes to new adventures, but finding the balance is something that we {well I} need to really work on. I need to know what I am going to be truly passionate about and put work into and what I should pass on so someone else can express their passion about it.

I think another common trend for not only myself, but college students in general is we get into a routine and get comfortable with it so we don’t explore outside of it much. We forget that exploring in the first place was what helped us find our current place that was better than the last. Also, exploring is what creates those memories that when written down or told are not nearly as meaningful/ memorable as the actual experience.

Something else that I have realized is I want a lot of things and I have not decided if this will help me or hinder me. And when I say I want things I don’t mean just physical things. I want to be successful so I can own a place of my own and be proud of it. Does it have to be a mansion no, but I do want to be a home owner of some sort. I want to be able to have a car that I enjoy driving every day to a career that I hopefully love. I also want to have family and travel to see the beauty that this planet has to offer. While none of these are too out of the ordinary I do know that some people don’t get to experience them because life is expensive. While it can hinder some, I choose to use it as motivation to work hard, and create the life that I want.

Come next May I will be graduating and at that time some decisions will have to be made and certain directions will be followed, but this does not have to be set in stone. I have set myself up to let many directions to be traveled as I see fit. While I may not have figured everything out and I still won’t have some things figured out when college ends, life is young and many things are possible.

North, South, East, and West are all directions, but there are infinitely more and with hard work, a good attitude and faith anything is possible. Keep an open mind and an open heart and good things will come in due time.

-Aud

 

Adulting.

Adulting: the act of having to behave like an adult and do adult like things.

This is something that is going to be a very real thing for me in a just a little over the year, but even though I have not graduated college yet I am definitely talking strides to being a fully emerged in the adult world of work, bills, and free-time.

This summer I am keeping myself rather busy with school, an internship and work. My internship involves me being a digital media marketing intern so I will be learning quite a few things. The company I am working for is located down in the heart of KC in the eclectic district called Crossroads. I live about 20 minutes (when you are not traveling during rush hour) from the business and as I am driving to the internship, into the city I feel a little bit of a rush wash over me. I love seeing the tall buildings off in the distance growing closer and I like driving through the city with buildings stretching up high above me. I think one of the reasons I like the city so much is there are always things going on and so many places to go work get work done or to go out and have a good time. I like having options and trying new things so that is just one of the reasons I like the city. Anyways, back to adulating. My first day at my internship was just a couple days ago and I am interested to see how a company (specifically a start-up) company works. In the morning we have a short meeting (called stand-up because we literally all stand around a table to keep it short.) that goes over what is going on in the company and people discuss what they are going to work on for the day. After that people seem to settle into their respective places and develop their flow for the day. Lunch comes and people converse, but then everyone settles back in until the end of the day. I thought I would get really bored quickly, but the time did not drag and I managed to get several of my tasks done or at least a nice head start on them. When it came time to leave I joined a chunk of the city on the commute home. I felt a sense of accomplishment and excitement again because I felt like an adult and I could see myself doing something similar each day.

So moral of the story, I really enjoy working for a business because I like having my own space, a team to work with, a task list, and I like being able to go to out to lunch at different places and dressing up for the work place (oddly enough).  I also know that I want to work for a larger company that has room for advancement and involves products or people that I can stand behind and traveling around wouldn’t be such a bad gig. With having little to know experience I know I am going to have to really work to get someone to invest  in me so I can invest in their company.

Love.

Love. Something so many girls and guys want to experience in life just once, and if we are lucky enough we will find a person to experience this with for the rest of our lives. I too am guilty of this want.

All through high school I was socially awkward and lacked confidence making group projects difficult for me. Did I want a boyfriend, absolutely. All of my friends were starting to get them and I was always the third wheel. Has anything changed in college, not really but I have very different feeling now. Before I thought I was doing something drastically wrong or that I wasn’t pretty enough, or that I didn’t have an interesting personality. Now though, I realize that I am not doing anything drastically wrong, but rather I am doing things just right. Since going to college I have become more confident and I have made some wonderful friends who still love me even if I don’t match or do the weirdest things. With that being said, I have had my fair share of interactions with guys who have shown interest in me, but for one thing or another it didn’t work out. Was I upset and sad at first?…absolutely, but with my friends and faith I realize that it will work out eventually. I think that because I haven’t been in a serious relationship I have been able to learn so many more things about myself, which will only make a relationship stronger when one does occur.

So many people talk about this and I am also someone who preaches this, but it is much harder to keep following. One must trust that God has a plan for us. Not just one plan, but rather one for every aspect of our lives and we must be patient because if the thing we want is not in our lives at the moment then we are supposed to learn something or experience something that will make ourselves or maybe the other person ready to be in that relationship.

Another thing thing that I used to find myself doing is being jealous or resentful towards people who are in relationships, but now when I see a young or old couple together it gives me hope and trust in God that one day I will have someone who will compliment my life and I can compliment theirs.

To end, I just want to say that patience is a hard thing to have, but while you’re waiting do cool things, spend time with great people and soon enough the  moment will be here.

XOXO

Aud.